On November 18th 2022, I released my new single Hold Me Close.
This song’s lyrics speak about both love for someone and love for one’s self. These were two things that I frequently reflected on. I think to genuinely love yourself and be loved by someone else is pretty much the true goal for most people.
“It’s written in the stars
like a fairytale
like a story carved in stone
It’s written on your face
why you’re so afraid
what is holding you back”
Some people believe that everything that happens is written. That our future is already determined and that we live to become whatever is written for us to be.
I’m not saying that I blindly agree with this, but sometimes it does feel like it. You know? Before I started singing and writing, I first had a dream… A dream to become someone. A dream to travel the world and take my music around the globe. I dreamed of bringing a change to people’s lives through my music. I know how this sounds. You might say I’m way ahead of myself and it’s too far fetched, well, that’s what my anxious thoughts tell me too. However, I’ve slowly learnt that I have to acknowledge and move past those thoughts.
We can be stubborn for many things in life. Your dreams deserve a fight and they’re worth being stubborn for. I am now certain of myself and I know what I bring to the table. I found my belief, my sound… I found myself. My music makes me whole and when I think of my journey so far, I do feel as if it was written in the stars, like a prophecy carved on the stones of a cave showing what’s meant to be.
It’s very much the same with love. We fall in love and sometimes it’s scary. We don’t always know what we’re doing or if it’s meant to be, but sometimes, somehow… We feel certain. The connection feels so strong that you feel that everything that had happened – all the heartache and the past relationships led to this moment with this significant other.
“It’s not that I’m afraid to love
but of getting too attached
What if you fall for someone else
Will i fade into your past“
Like everything in life, love can have its ups and downs. You may feel on top of the world and deeply in love, then later at night, when you’re alone in bed… You start to think and dwell about things that might or might not occur. You start to fill your head with negative thoughts and insecurities that you drag along for days to come.
This is a topic that many of us are not vocal about. It’s difficult to even say this to a friend sometimes. I would know, these thoughts rushed through my head many times. “What if he falls in love with someone else? or what if someone from the past resurfaces and things change?” I used to think… Trust that you’re not alone in this. We all have our doubts and insecurities, what’s important is that we don’t let those insecurities affect our judgement and poison our joy.
“Hold me close
and say you’ll never leave
say you’ll never leave
me alone
Hold me close
I’m not your enemy
say you’ll never leave
me alone“
From where do I start… This chorus may be simple, but it holds a powerful meaning. When you love someone, all you wish sometimes (or most times 😅) is for that person to hold you close and to reassure you of their undoubted love. You’d want them to tell you that they’re here for good through thick and thin, come what may. This might be me just being clingy, but so what!
In this chorus, there is also my favourite line “hold me close, I’m not your enemy”. This line is not about the love for someone else, but the love for one’s self (self love). There were times when I felt like I was not enough. No matter what I did, no matter what achievements or goals I achieved, at time I felt like I still did not do enough. As soon as I reached a milestone, it was not for long until I start to belittle the success and guilt myself for not doing better.
I then began to go in front of the mirror and I’d remind myself of everything I had accomplished. I practiced being kinder to myself. I was treating myself as if I was the enemy when I wasn’t. I wouldn’t put the expectations I had of myself on a friend or someone I loved, so why was I doing it to myself? I told myself that what I did not accomplish today, I can accomplish tomorrow. Rome was not built in a day and I could not expect to achieve everything overnight. Patience is a virtue.
“I know time will come
and it will have its way
will it ever be the same
you make it seem so easy
to dream again
but is it just a phase“
Change is scary, and with time, everyone and everything changes. We’re continuously growing and developing day after day. What we were into a year or two ago, i might be that we’re no longer into now.
These verses reflect on how time will have its way. You don’t really know what will happen tomorrow, in a week or in a few months’ time. Some things are not in our hands to control. Time is a story-teller, and only time can unveil the the future.
When you’re with someone who makes you truly happy, you may find yourself hoping for things not to ever change, even though without change we cannot grow.
“through it all
come hell or high water
I give myself to you
in all I do“
The bridge is very short and simple. It speaks about giving yourself, your love, your time, no matter what troubles arise with time. To truly love also means to commit, both when it comes to yourself or to someone else. If you love someone you do not turn you back on them when things get tough and ugly, you stick strong and move forward. I guess sometimes it’s easier to commit to someone in comparison to committing to ourselves. To love ourselves no matter what mistakes we do. No matter what setbacks we face…
Thank you for reading the lengthy post about the thoughts and meaning behind the lyrics of my release Hold Me Close.
Whilst I don’t usually write such lengthy posts, it’s been truly a pleasure to put this together.
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Stay kind,
Jas Rolyn
Stained Beauty
